


Kiss and Tell

by Inkribbon796



Series: Masks and Maladies [101]
Category: Markiplier fandom - Fandom
Genre: Attempted Murder, Birthday Post, Dark is overprotective, M/M, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27539698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: Yan and her favorite big brother are on a mission from Dark, and run into some brightly colored characters.
Relationships: darkstache
Series: Masks and Maladies [101]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538131
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18





	Kiss and Tell

**Author's Note:**

> For Yan’s birthday. In terms of the timeline this happens almost right before (or at least a month before) Robbie becomes a zombie. Yan is 16 and Author is 18; Ethan is 17 and Randall is 15.

~::~ Five Years Ago ~::~

Yan and Arthur were sitting in a warehouse, talking to each other as they sat in a room full of crates. Dark had left them in charge while he was  _ “talking” _ to the foreman. Arthur had commented, not so gently, that Bim was probably getting a new meal, but the conversation had changed topic to Yan’s newest boyfriend.

“Yeah, but does he have a nice ass?” Author asked, writing in his book about one of his newest  _ “characters” _ that Dark had given him.

“Senpai is perfect,” Yan flapped her arms a bit in excitement.

Arthur made an unsure face, “Yeah, but can I bounce a quarter off that ass?”

A loud crash came from somewhere in the warehouse and both teens straightened up in their seats.

“Was that you?” Yan asked, looking at Arthur who with a couple quick words summoned his bat to his hand.

“If it was me I would have summoned your boytoy’s head and thrown it at your lap,” Arthur was already up and heading towards the noise.

Yan stuck her tongue at him, summoning one of her katanas and followed him.

At the other side of the building Crank was rubbing the back of his neck. He brushed back his bright blue hair out of his face.

“Oww,” Ethan almost laughed with the pain.

Randall jumped in after him, Bob and Silver were fighting a couple thugs outside and Ethan had accidentally sailed in through a window.

“You okay?” Silver called from outside.

“Yeah, I just misjudged my jump,” Crank yelled back.

Randall fixed his yellow tinted glasses, his outfit almost looked like a construction worker’s. A large YT on the side on an arm. While Ethan’s looked most like Silver’s almost spandex outfit but with more blues and greys, a mask covering half his face.

“I got him,” Randall promised.

A whistle trilled out as Yan and Arthur finally caught sight of their intruders. “Well what do we have here, this is private property, kiddos.”

“Shit,” Crank froze, rolling into a standing position. 

“Are those heroes?” Yan asked, staring at them.

Arthur stared in disbelief, his jaw dropping a bit. “Holy fucking shit, the old man wasn’t exaggerating, they  _ are _ in spandex.”

“I’m not,” Randall told him.

“Yeah this is nano-carbon fiber,” Ethan boasted, gesturing to himself. “Made by two of our smartest heroes.”

“ _ Ehhh, _ looks and probably breathes like spandex,” Arthur dismissed, pulling out his notebook and leaning on the pommel of his bat.

“So do you work for Dark, because otherwise we’ll leave,” Randall interrupted, pointing to the window. “We didn’t mean to crash in here.”

“Nah, you’re staying,” Arthur ordered. “Besides this is a real chance to show the Old Man that I’m better than Philly.”

“Fat chance, he’s the only one who leaves town,” Yan rolled his eyes. “아빠 has his favorite and all.”

“Not for long, when I bring him one of their heads, he’ll love me more,” Arthur smiled, staring at Ethan with such intensity that the young hero felt a twinge of fear, taking a step back towards the window. Like the guy’s golden yellow eyes were digging their way to his soul.

“Okay, well you sound like you need to talk to this  _ Ah-pah _ or whoever,” Ethan took another step back, Randall catching his unease and stepping in front of him.

“This’ll be fun,” Author smiled, tapping his bat to the ground. “I wonder how fun you are to toy with. You boys got names, or can I make them up?”

“Blank,” Ethan smiled, he hadn’t ever gotten to fight against people his age. He felt a little excited.

“Yellow Tape,” Randall told him.

Arthur frowned, already writing the two names in his notebook, “Well at least I get to make up some cool names.”

“I think the bigger one is cute,” Yan smiled shyly at Randall.

“So I can feed Dave and the twink to Junior?” Author smiled.

Yan let out a scandalized gasp, “How dare you?”

“Hey!” Ethan yelled.

“Is Junior your dog?” Randall asked.

Author just started laughing, “Oh, that’s great, I’m telling him that. That’s so good, I might not kill you, blondie.”

“What? Why would you want to kill us?” Randall asked.

Author chuckled, “I can see the headline now:  _ Blondie Dies in Skin Tight Spandex, Cut Down in the Prime of his Life, _ an instant classic.”

“I thought you said you weren’t gonna kill him,” Yan snapped.

“Ehh, I’ll make up my mind halfway in,” Arthur shrugged. And then wrote the words:  _ “And all the air left Crank’s lungs.” _

Crank gasped as he felt something like a hand physically stealing the air out of his lungs and disappear down his throat. His panic consumed him as he could get another breath. He faintly heard Yellow Tape screaming in the background.

Then there was a sudden crash as Ethan hit the ground and his vision started to get fuzzy.

And . . . air returned to Crank’s lungs as Bob snapped a barrier around himself and the two apprentices.

Author looked confused and offended, scribbling the same lines over and over again. “Why isn’t this working? Why won’t you die?”

Yan raced in with her katana, trying to cut past the barrier but it didn’t give.

“You two okay?” Bob called down to them, a bit surprised at the strength of the auras assaulting his shield. His barriers managed to keep out the swords and knives that manifested out of thin air from both Yan and Author’s writing.

Ethan gasped for air, finally able to breath. “He just . . . He just . . .”

“I got you, buddy,” Bob promised him.

Author screamed in anger but as Silver was racing in, Dark’s aura appeared underneath the two young enforcers and pulled them through in seconds. He stood in their place, using his aura to knock Silver against a wall. He looked pissed.

“Gatling, get them out of here,” Silver ordered Bob.

Before Bob could even twitch, Dark used his aura and struck for them but all it did was push Bob and the two apprentices almost right at the entrance of the warehouse.

Then he turned back to Silver who was picking himself off the wall. Dark cracked his neck, “Shepherd, when are you going to be done using children to fight your battles? I thought you were better than this.”

“You have all kinds of teens in your network,” Silver reminded sharply.

“Mine don’t dress up in Halloween costumes and try and fight demons,” Dark reprimanded. “Gatling, if you leave with the kids, I’ll do you all a favor and forget they were even here.”

Silver looked over Dark’s shoulder towards Bob, “Gat take the kids, meet back up with Jackie, I got this.” He made sure to say that into his communicator so that Jackie knew to expect them.

Bob looked unsure, but nodded and used his shields to help get the two apprentices out.

“So what’s with the kids?” Silver asked when he didn’t get a warning from Bob and there were no distress signals. “You hate kids, you don’t even like looking at them.”

“My cut off point is fifteen,” Dark reminded, his tone dripping with disinterest. “You’ve found much younger working for me than those two.”

“Yeah, as drug dealers and thugs, they don’t look like your typical pushers,” Silver continued to interrogate. “Besides you don’t typically come to those kids’ rescue. You let them hang out to dry.”

“Well those ones don’t have powers, I keep the best for my inner circle,” Dark boasted. “It’s called planning for the future. My captains and lieutenants won’t live forever.”

Silver knew there was something else to it, but he couldn’t even guess what it was. Dark withheld information and lied as easily as he breathed. Instead he just looked around, “So what’s going on in here that you had two high school kids guard?”

“Lumber freight, they’re shadowing the foreman,” Dark answered, tapping a long crate with his foot. “If you want to bring Abe down to have his plastic soldiers search the place, you are welcome to help yourselves. I have business to attend to.”

“Lumber?” Silver repeated in disbelief. “The high school otaku and Mr. Golden Eyes were moving freight?”

“Obviously not,” Dark scoffed, “they’re helping do paperwork, who puts a sixteen-year-old in a lumber yard?”

“Apparently you, because they was here,” Silver motioned to where Dark had pulled the two twins through.

Dark looked at the spot he’d taken the two teens from and seemed almost . . . uncertain . . . or if Silver was imagining it right, uneasy. “Silver the older of the two teens here, if you happen to see him, do not engage him. Keep your apprentices away from him.”

“Why, so we can stay out of your hair?” Mark chuckled, floating a bit off the ground.

The Entity’s expression didn’t change, “Silver, there are many people in my network that are rather unfit for polite society, he is one of them. If you value the lives of those children you will not engage him. He is a tiger in his own territory. No jail can contain him, no weapon can harm him.”

“Yikes, sounds like a real winner,” Mark tried to joke. “Where’d you find him?”

But Dark didn’t laugh. “I think it’s time for you to go.”

“Hey, wait, I’m not done here,” Silver demanded, but Dark moved a portal and he was dumped out of the lumberyard.

“Yes, you are,” Dark told him and snapped the portal closed, opening a new one to take him into the Manor’s living room where Yan and Arthur were sitting with Illinois who was on the couch, Kay trying to sleep against him but cracked an eye open when Dark walked in.

“And then his fucking face turned blue,” Arthur recounted, he’d been telling his siblings about his encounter with the heroes, when he noticed Dark he turned and smiled. “Hey, old man, did you see me back there? I was amazing.”

“I was there too,” Yan reminded. “I helped.”

“What did I tell you all?” Dark demanded sternly. “You are not allowed to be within sight of the heroes.”

“Well they showed up and we were going to leave but then they just started showing up, and then you showed up,” Yan explained, looking frustrated.

“I could have taken them,” Arthur boasted.

“Really?” Dark scoffed as he walked over to fix part of Yan’s hair that was still sticking up from the fight. He pulled out a comb, Yan smiled up at him. “That’s not what I was seeing.”

“Another couple minutes and I would have had them,” Arthur proclaimed.

“Highly doubtful since Gatling’s barriers are aura-proof,” Dark slipped the comb back into the void. “All your powers are aura-based.”

“All our powers are,” Arthur spat angrily.

“Not Kay,” Illinois reminded.

“Hmm?” Kay stirred, still half-asleep.

“Duh, Kay’s fucking useless, he doesn’t have powers,” Arthur retorted.

“Hnnnm,” Kay grumbled angrily.

“That’s enough,” Dark snapped, using his aura to pick Kay up. The young man leaned against Dark just like he did when he was a kid. “Your brother is not useless. You will  _ not _ call him that.”

Arthur glared at him but didn’t say anything.

“Yan,” Dark turned to his daughter. “Will has a surprise for you, your birthday is tomorrow after all.”

“Yay!” Yan jumped a bit and clapped her hands. “Are you introducing me to Davie?”

“Princess,” Dark began in a threatening, sweet tone, “He is 25, if that bastard so much as looks at you, I will skin him alive and fashion his ribs into a crown.”

The Entity ripped a portal open into Kay’s room and carefully stepped around the collection of stuffed animals. He magicked the young man into a set of pajamas and under his blankets. Then he walked back out into the living room to keep arguing with Yan out in the living room.

“You never let me have a boyfriend,” Yan pouted.

“Not until you’re old enough to stop chasing after older men who work for me,” Dark informed tersely, walking into his office with her following after him. “I don’t let Bim date within the network either.”

“Illy gets to date your workers,” Yan demanded.

Dark closed the door, “Considering they die on his missions I didn’t think you would seek to emulate him.”

“Just because he’s your favorite, he gets everything,” Yan reminded, frustrated.

“Don’t be absurd,” Dark told him. “I don’t have a favorite.”

Wilford smiled against the top of Dark’s shoulder, he had suddenly appeared behind Dark. “Everyone knows you favor him Darky, don’t worry about it.”

Dark’s aura bristled at the sudden appearance of his partner. “No I don’t. You’re all ridiculous.”

“Dad, tell him I can date Davie,” Yan demanded.

“Absolutely,” Wil encouraged, but when Dark glared at him he clicked his mouth shut for a second before saying, “well, Darky says no, so I’m guessing the answer is no.”

“Dad!” Yan complained.

Dark cleared his throat, and Wilford seemed to have a flash of memory in his eyes.

“Oh, yes, we’re here to . . . uh,” Wilford frowned and looked at Dark. His next words were whispered but Yan was too close so it didn’t stay between the two grown adults. “Why are we here again?”

“It’s Yan’s birthday,” Dark told him calmly.

“It’s your birthday, sweetheart!” Wilford spun around, arms wide before he gave her a giant hug. “Happy birthday, princess.”

“Thanks, Daddy,” Yan smiled.

Wilford released her and held out his fingers and a sheathed sword appeared on his fingers. The sword was in a pink colored steel sheathed, the hilt on the front was a red rose that had black leaves curved around as a guard. “Pour toi, mademoiselle.”

Yan squealed and jumped for Wilford, Dark quickly taking the sword out of his hands. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“Thank your father,” Wilford smiled, hugging her and nudging her in Dark’s direction. “It was his idea.”

“Wil,” Dark warned.

The young teen smiled at Dark before racing over to hug him. “Thank you so much.”

The hug was short and Yan was too excited to notice that Dark’s hands were shaking when she grabbed onto him. She took the sword and just stared at the gems and hilt of the sword. “It’s so pretty.”

“All for our lovely princess,” Wilford smiled as Dark clasped his hands behind his back. Wilford rested his forehead against her head, a warm smile on his head. “Tomorrow is your day sweetheart, but we wanted to start the celebration off right, didn’t we Darky?”

“Of course,” Dark agreed and the two walked back into the living room with her where most of the family was to plan the next day out.


End file.
